The world went unjustifiably wild last year after *that* photo of Billie Eilish wearing a white tank top was released and disgusting body shaming insults ensued. However, Eilish has revealed that it was actually those close to her that were more concerned about the photo than she was.

“I think that the people around me were more worried about it than I was, because the reason I used to cut myself was because of my body,” Eilish admitted in an interview for her cover story with Vanity Fair. “To be quite honest with you, I only started wearing baggy clothes because of my body.”

Prior to the photo, the pop star was always spotted wearing baggy clothing. Thankfully, she’s revealed that at the time the photo was released, she was in a good headspace in regards to her self confidence.

“I was really, really glad though, mainly, that I’m in this place in my life, because if that had happened three years ago, when I was in the midst of my horrible body relationship—or dancing a ton, five years ago, I wasn’t really eating,” Eilish explained.

The 19-year-old also opened up on her heartbreaking struggles with her weight.

“I was, like, starving myself,” Billie told the magazine. “I remember taking a pill that told me that it would make me lose weight and it only made me pee the bed—when I was 12. It’s just crazy. I can’t even believe, like I—wow. Yeah. I thought that I would be the only one dealing with my hatred for my body, but I guess the internet also hates my body. So that’s great.”

Eilish briefly touched on her thoughts about the photo in a previous interview with Vanity Fair.

Here’s this picture of me running from my car to my brother’s front door on like a 110 degree day in a tank top. And people were like, ‘Damn, Billie got fat!’ And I’m like, “Nope, this is how I look, you’ve just never seen it before!’ So that’s the most current [rumor],” she said during the video interview,” she said.