Billie Eilish has opened up about her experience with mental health, depression and body dysmorphia.
In a new interview with Rolling Stone Eilish got candid about her battle with depression, that stemmed from a dance injury.
Eilish had been competitively dancing for several years when she ruptured the growth plate in her hip during a hip-hop class. Unfortunately, the injury had a devastating effect on her body and she was forced to quit dance entirely. “I think that’s when the depression started,” she revealed.
Her inability to dance triggered a downward spiral with her mental health “It sent me down a hole. I went through a whole self-harming phase — we don’t have to go into it. But the gist of it was, I felt like I deserved to be in pain.”
Billie also revealed that the culture of competitive dancing resulted in her experiencing body dysmorphia. “At dance, you wear really tiny clothes, and I’ve never felt comfortable in really tiny clothes. I was always worried about my appearance. That was the peak of my body dysmorphia. I couldn’t look in the mirror at all.”
In a Calvin Klein campaign earlier this year, Billie explained her decision to wear exclusively baggy clothes. “I never want the world to know everything about me,” she shared in the video “That’s why I wear big, baggy clothes. Nobody can have an opinion because they haven’t seen what’s underneath.”
Thankfully, it seems as though Eilish has managed to make peace with her demons, and her mental health is in a good place. “I haven’t been depressed in a minute, which is great,” she revealed.
“17 has probably been the best year of my life. I’ve liked 17.”
The ever-precocious pop sensation shared that she empathises with fans who are struggling. “Sometimes I see girls at my shows with scars on their arms, and it breaks my heart. I don’t have scars anymore because it was so long ago. But I’ve said to a couple of them, ‘Just be nice to yourself.’ Because I know. I was there.”