Today, Ariana Grande released her fourth album Sweetener. Preceded by the stunning “no tears left to cry”, the brave “the light is coming”, and the sublime “God is a woman”, expectations for the album have been high.

Luckily, Ari has pulled through. Sweetener is a pop masterpiece, and God truly is a woman named Ariana Grande. When you listen to the album, it becomes apparent that some of these songs have a lot more Big Dick Energy flowing through them… Luckily for you, we’ve listened to the album and ranked each song by how much Big Dick Energy they exude. Let’s begin!

“God is a woman”

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This song has more BDE than any man on earth. God is probably Beyoncé in my opinion, and therefore this song is about Beyoncé, so it gets extra BDE points.

“pete davidson”

You know why…

“borderline”

“Once you tastin’ my ice cream, I bet you won’t ever leave.” That lyric alone exudes Big Dick Energy. Add a Missy Elliot verse and you’re reaching new peaks of BDE.

“no tears left to cry”

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The first single from the album knows what BDE is. Ari literally sings “We out here vibin,” she knows whats up. She’s “turning it up” and by “it” she means Big Dick Energy levels.

“breathin”

Ranking these is getting really hard at this point… Sweetener is bringing a lot more BDE than I expected. This song builds up slowly, but it truly does go off. A top quality BDE banger.

“successful”

The way she says “I’m so successful”, that’s the Big Dick Energy talking. Ari knows she’s killing it, and she gets bonus points for that heavy breathing bit at the end.

“R.E.M”

Ari has so much flow in the verses of this song. Her BDE is really hitting peaks at this point.

“the light is coming”

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This song has Big Dick Energy based off of the fact that it’s just so confusing and weird, but it’s not bad. It just confidently slides into the album as if it belongs there, when it kind of doesn’t. Minus points for Nicki’s average verse.

“sweetener”

This song is a big mood. It’s somehow super sexy, but also super cute. There’s a lot of BDE in the air right now.

“get well soon”

The final track of Sweetener is a quality closer. This song really looks internally at Grande and her life. It’s a lot, but to expose yourself like that takes a lot of BDE. Well done Ari!

“blazed”

Pharrell brings very little BDE to this song… In fact every time you hear him in the song the Big Dick Energy dissipates pretty fast. Outside of his parts, the song just doesn’t come across as confident as a song with large amounts of BDE.

Sweetener-promo
Ariana Grande exuding BDE.

“goodnight n go”

Look it’s not the most confident song. But it’s not completely lacking in the BDE department. Minus points for the very shy second verse.

“everytime”

This song is a bit lacking on BDE. It’s a bit too sad too really be giving off that vibe to be honest.

“better off”

Not much BDE found here. The sad songs really aren’t nailing it with the BDE.

“raindrops (an angel cried)”

This song is 30 seconds long and very sad. Very little Big Dick Energy.

Sweetener is out now and you can listen to it here.

Watch: Troye Sivan & Ariana Grande – “Dance To This”

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